


This ends now.

by pauladeroma



Category: Glee
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-03
Updated: 2013-03-04
Packaged: 2017-12-04 03:44:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/706167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pauladeroma/pseuds/pauladeroma
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Santana can´t stand Brody naked habits anymore, so she made ir her own mission to ends it once and for all. Kurtana friendship, maybe pre-Pezberry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It´s been almost three weeks since Santana invited herself to move in with Hummelberry pair and surprisingly the three of them hadn´t tried to kill each other. Actually, most of the time they got along pretty well, specially, Santana and Kurt, who discovered that they had a lot of things in common, like they were sassy hot bitches and had the same rival, no one other than Sam Evans. Also, both had an obsessive love for clothes and coffee, and a passionate dislike for Brody Weston.

Santana woke up with the sounds of Rachel practicing scales while in the shower. The girl sighed frustrated and put her pillow over her head, but it was useless, as Rachel just got louder and louder. The ex-cheerleader thought of barging into the bathroom and threaten to strangle the diva with the curtain again, but she gave up as she remembered being lectured about how respecting each other privacy was the main foundation of living together in a peaceful environment, also how she couldn´t just skip her morning routine as it would mess her schedule (“that I meticulously planned when I was 3 years old and won my first sing competition”), and how the hot steam from the shower was good to her voice and breathing or something like that. Then, getting yelled at because she hadn´t heard a word Rachel said as she was more interested in checking out the small hot dripping wet body in front of her.  So, no, it was too early for such stress, even if she would get an eyeful of Rachel Berry´s perky boobs.

Throwing the blankets and pillow off herself, Santana grabbed a Louisville sweatshirt and an old Cheerio short from the floor and put them on. Normally, she wouldn´t care about leaving her room in only her boyshorts and tank top, but she saw Rachel´s toy boy checking her out once when she had one of her tight dresses on and she just wouldn´t give the creep a free show. Santana then left the room and crossed the living room to the table when she saw Kurt already up and eating his cereal while reading the newspaper.

“Morning Porcelain” the tanned girl got a mug and filled it with coffee, then sat next to her friend. When she took a sip and the black nectar hit her mouth she hummed contently.

“Morning Satan. Couldn´t sleep with all those sounds the resident diva is making?” Kurt looked at Santana, passing the comics and sport section to her, while he kept the entertainment section.

“Yeah, at least it´s better than when we get waken up by her fake moans and Grody´s unattractive pig grunts in the middle of the night. You know, by how horrible in the sack Donkey Face sounds, I thought Rachel would have dumped his sorry as by now. Maybe that´s what get her lady parts tingling, assholes that have no idea how to use their dick properly.”

“Oh my God, Santana. Must you be so vulgar?”

“I´m keeping it real, Twink. And…”

Before Santana could finish, the bathroom door open and Brody left wearing nothing but a cocky grin when he noticed his other roommates eating breakfast. He approached them not feeling any shame for flaunting his male parts. Kurt and Santana glared at him with a disgust expression on their face, and the former looked like he was going to cry when Brody, once again, sat naked on the chair.

“How are my two roomies in this fantastic morning?” the NYADA student asked with a smug expression as he was God just because he was showing his abs and his white ass.

“Have you ever heard about pants? They are for the purpose of covering undesirable things that other people would prefer not to look at” the Lima boy said with a annoyed tone while trying hard not to throw his cereal on the other man´s face or even his hot coffee on his naked lap.

“I´m an artist Kurt, I´m just expression myself, my freedom” Brody answered while taking a big bite from his bagel.

“Yeah, so go express it far from us. Not all of us are into abstract art. I can´t really see or understand what the hell you have between your legs” the Latina said with a flatted tone, but Brody didn´t seem fazed. Actually, he smirked even more and looked at her as he knew something.

“Santana, don´t be embarrassed. You don´t need to pretend you don´t like it just because you are Rachel´s friend. I bet she doesn´t mind that you appreciate this” he motioned to his body “So if you want to look, feel free” Brody then winked at her, and Santana felt like throwing up.

‘This guy is really delusional’ she thought while rolling her eyes “Oh, please. I´m a lesbian, meaning I like the ‘v’. If God wanted me to look at dicks, he would have made me straight.”

Brody had the decency of looking offended, but before he could say anything else, Rachel got out of the bathroom, dressed in her robe and a towel covering her hair.

“Good Morning!” the diva sang while strolling to the table “How are you this lovely morning?” Rachel kissed Brody and then got a peach from the fruit bowl.

“Disgusting by your toy boy nakedness” Santana responded.

“Brody is just expressing himself, he´s showing that as an artist he has to strip himself of his persona to be able to impersonate someone completely different from him. Also he has to be comfortable in his in skin because some roles are going to demand him to show his more than fine assets.”

Her friend just gave her a shocked look, but she ignored them while taking her boyfriend’s hand and pulling him into their room. Both friends kept looking at where the couple had disappeared until Kurt was finally able to shake the cloud of stupor from his head.

“We need to burn this chair immediately” the blue-eyed boy said desperately, but when he looked at the raven haired girl, she had a determined look on her face while her eyes glared at Rachel´s curtain.

“Kurt Elizabeth Hummel, this ends now!”

 


	2. Chapter II

Santana woke up the next morning with the feeling of her cell phone vibrating under her stomach. Growling lightly she turned on her back and looked at the phone and saw it was 7.30 a.m. Groaning and rubbing her eyes, Santana wondered why she set the alarm for such a ungodly hour on a Saturday when she remembered that Snixx was a girl on a mission. The girl rolled out the bed, almost falling from it and then put some clothes over her pj´s. Before leaving her room, Santana grabbed some things that she would need to make her plan work. The Latina approached their table and saw Kurt already there eating his cereal and reading the paper as usually.

"Hey, Hummel. Are Berry and Donkey Ken doll up?" she asked when she didn´t hear any sound from the bathroom.

"Yes, they just left the bathroom running after each other. And it was horrible. I think they burned my eyes!" Kurt said with a painful expression, looking like he was ready to burst into tears "Not only Brody was naked again, but he´s rubbing off on Rachel. She was wearing only her towel!"

"I missed Berry in only a towel?" Santana pouted.

"This the only thing you heard? You are worse than a 13 year-old boy" Kurt rolled his eyes.

"I must say that I last much longer than a 13 year-old boy" the girl smiled proudly while Kurt looked horrified "But don´t worry my little Padawan, Snixx is here to save your day."

"Did you just…" but before Kurt could finish his roommate turned around while putting some disposable gloves and tearing three small packages and pouring all over the chair that Brody usually sits "What is that?"

"Itching powder. It´s going to teach Dicklet not to put his white ass wherever it pleases him. Now, I think I still get 10 minutes, but keep an eye to see if they come here" Santana said while throwing away the gloves and the packages. Then, she ran into the bathroom and minutes later she reappeared while closing the door and locking it. Santana put the key between her breasts and went back to Kurt.

"Is that really going to work?"

"Well, if it doesn´t we can always drop boiling hot coffee on his lap or swing a hammer into his direction" Santana smirked evilly and sat beside the boy, filling her coffee mug and stealing the comics section.

Not even five minutes later, they heard someone leaving Rachel´s room and Kurt and Santana looked up from their food to see who was coming. Both were disappointed when only a girl appeared behind the curtains.

"Good Morning, my dear friends. Brody said he´ll be here in a minute" Rachel smiled and took some strawberries from the fridge. Kurt and Santana´s eyes widened when they saw Rachel heading to "Brody´s chair" and before the small diva could even reach it, the taller girl pulled her to sit on her lap "Santana!" the Jewish girl squealed while holding the strawberry bowl so none would fall on the floor.

"Hello, my fair lady. How are you this fine morning?" Santana smiled charmingly, one arm around Rachel´s waist and the other over legs covered by pink running shorts.

"Santana, I´m very capable of sitting on my own, so I would really appreciate if you just let me go, so I can relish my breakfast, as you know it is the most important meal of the day."

"Come one Berry, just give a poor old lady lover here a little happiness, it´s been such a long time that I don´t have such a beautiful girl sitting on my lap or her curves against my body. Just give me this one little thing" Santana winked at Rachel while taking one of the strawberries and taking a bite while grinning victoriously when she noticed a small blush on the other girl´s cheeks. Not being able to resist and taking advantage of the opportunity, her fingers caressed the skin showing between the NYADA student´s white tank top and shorts. Also the hand on Rachel hiked to mid-thigh.

"Oh my God, Santana! Stopping groping me!" Rachel squealed and batted the hands away from her body, but didn´t move from the tanned girl´s lap "Must you be such a perv?" the diva huffed while glaring at her roommate.

"Me? Perv? I´m not the one running around the loft in only a towel or it´s not my boyfriend that likes to walk naked all over the place" the ex-cheerleader gave a mentally pat on her back seeing Rachel blushing of embarrassment.

Rachel didn´t have a good come back, so she kept quietly while munching on her strawberries and glaring at the other girl. Then the three friends heard someone approaching the table and looked up, seeing Brody walking towards them, again wearing only his birthday suit. The conceited man frowned upon seeing his girlfriend on the Latina´s lap. Rachel was supposed to be paying attention only on him. But, then maybe if he could convince both girls, it would turn out to his favor. Smiling as he thought it was charmingly, Brody reached his chair, turning it around so he could straddle it and leaned on the back of the chair.

Santana and Kurt simultaneously turned their head to the side, trying really hard to hold back their laugh. Santana covered it by shoving a big strawberry into her mouth while Kurt pretended he was wiping his mouth clean. Brody kept the cocky grin on his face, but as soon as he opened his mouth, he frowned. He started feeling a strange sensation on his lower regions, it felt like he was on fire, burning.

"What the hell!" Brody jumped from his seat and started scratching desperately his ass and penis. Rachel immediately left Santana´s lap to come to her boyfriend´s aid. Kurt and Santana couldn´t take it anymore and burst into a loud laugh, seeing Brody jumping and scratching himself. They laughed even louder when he ran towards the bathroom and tried to open the door, just to find it locked "Where is the key?"

"Here" Santana said pointing to her breasts and leaned back on her chair, enjoying the show.

"What did you both do?" Rachel stormed towards her friends "Do you think this prank is funny? It´s not! Whatever you put on that chair could be really perilous!" the diva was lividly.

"It´s itching powder, and please, Rachel, it´s not as your toy´s dick is going to fall down. And do you know what´s not funny? Being forced to see Grody over there walking around naked showing things me and Kurt don´t want to see. There´s a thing called privacy that I don´t think he understands."

"You crazy bitch! I live here, so I have every right to walk wearing or not wearing whatever I want. Also nobody invited you to move in, you just invaded our space. So, if you don´t like what you see, feel free to move out. Now give me the key!" Brody shouted, while scratching harder and faster, as the itch was getting more and more unbearable. You could see his eyes tearing up.

"No! Actually, after I came here I really asked BOTH Kurt and Rachel if it was ok if I lived with them, because I may be a bitch, but I know when I´m not wanted, and they said they would be happy to have me here. But I can´t say the same about you. Rachel just told you to move in without even consulting Kurt, just assuming he would be ok with the new living arrangement. Also I´m pretty confident that Kurt prefers me as a roommate than you any day."

"Preach!" Kurt raised his hand just like Artie used to do and went back to enjoy the show before him. When Santana´s vicious words and temper weren´t focused on you, tit was pretty dam fun to watch.

"Maybe Rachel is into tiny things, but Kurt and I don´t need or want to see his dicklet while he walks around the loft."

"Santana, I don´t appreciate you demoralizing my boyfriend. I must say his assets are more than satisfactory …"

"Come one Rachel, I slept with girls with bigger clits than his dick. And if it was true his assets are satisfactory you wouldn´t be faking all those moans" at this Brody had the sense to look embarrassed and covered his penis, while trying not to show how his pride was wounded "So here´s the deal. You start wearing clothes like a normal civilized person or itch powder is going to be the least of your problems."

"The sex, Santana, the sex!" Kurt said while pulling the sleeve of her sweatshirt.

"Oh, yes. If you want to fuck each other, keep it to yourselves or go to a motel. We don´t want to be waken in the middle of the night by grunts that sounds more like a pig being killed. Now, what do you say? Do you agree?"

Both Rachel and Brody were red of embarrassment and humiliation. Brody feeling his ego and pride wounded, also getting crazy by the intense itching, just nodded. Santana smiled satisfied and retrieved the key from her breats and put on the table, enjoying seeing Brody having difficult to walk as he kept scratching himself more and more. As soon as he got his hand on the key, the boy barged into the bathroom and turned the shower on. Rachel looked at her two friends with tears on her eyes.

"You two had no right to do this!"

"No, Rachel! He had no rights! We told him millions of times how uncomfortable him being naked made us, but he didn´t care. It was disrespectful Rachel, and you know it!" Kurt said to his friend knowing how blinded she was to her boyfriends' flaws.

"He was just…."

"If you say he was only expressing himself or some shit like that, I´ll slap you! You need to stop worshipping all the douchebags you insist on dating. You think they can do no wrong and always have a justification for all stupid things they do. You´re just like Quinn, you let men define you and…" Santana didn´t get the chance to finish as she was interrupted by a scream of pain coming from the bathroom.

"What was that?" Kurt and Rachel asked together.

"I may or may not have put half of a bottle of Mama Lopez´s famous chili salsa into his shower gel" Santana smiled guiltily.

"Santana!"

* * *

For the third morning in a row Santana woke up earlier than she was used to, but today she didn´t mind. She was in a fantastic mood. Ok, maybe Rachel refused to talk to her or Kurt, but she knew the diva would get over it pretty soon, and she wouldn´t be able to keep the silence treatment much longer. After getting dressed, Santana left her room and saw the familiar scene of Kurt eating and reading the newspaper.

"Good Morning, my lovely lady. How are you this marvelous morning?" she asked while getting a bagel and her coffee.

"My valiant hero, I must say, it´s been so long since the last time I could really enjoy my mornings in such a relaxed way. Here are for your leisure" Kurt passed the comics and sport sections to Santana like always.

"Oh, thank you. I don´t think I deserve such delightful rewards, but I just can´t refuse them if they come from a lovely being like you" the two friends then looked at each other and started laughing.

"Satan, you really are my hero. Yesterday was brilliant, genius! I knew that Snixx could be used for the Great Good."

"Well, I don´t like to brag, but it was really awesome."

They kept talking and enjoying their peaceful breakfast when they heard Rachel´s curtain being pulled aside. Both friends looked at it direction, just to see Brody leaving the room. And he was wearing a sweatpants and a NYADA shirt.

"Nice pants, Brody. It really suits you" Kurt said innocently and Santana snorted beside him.

The older boy just glared at them and took some fruits from the bowl and a bagel, turning so he could go back to his room, not risking sitting in any chair for a while. Kurt and Santana kept looking at him, enjoying that he seemed to be walking funny.

"And that´s how we do in Lima Heights" Santana said oudly while high-fiving Kurt.

* * *

 **A/N:** This was first a one-shot, then it turned a two-shot. But I´m thinking of turning in a multi chapter, what do you think? Do you guys have any ideas or what would you like to see?


End file.
